This Love Left a Permanent Mark
by snarkysweetness
Summary: Unable to stand Bobbi's suffering and plagued by her own demons, Melinda takes a moment to herself which Phil interrupts to comfort her.


**Title:** This Love Left a Permanent Mark  
 **Author:** snarkysweetness  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Pairing:** Philinda with Clint  
 **Summary:** Unable to stand Bobbi's suffering and plagued by her own demons, Melinda takes a moment to herself which Phil interrupts to comfort her.  
 **Warnings:** Mentions of Bobbi's torture, angst, and trigger warnings for mentions of Bobbi and Melinda's miscarriages.  
 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
 **Author's Notes:** This is a companion fic to my Huntingbird fic because I needed a Philinda scene.

Melinda was sure she was going to burn her hands at this rate but she couldn't stop scrubbing, angrily, wanting to get out every last bit of Bobbi's blood from her skin and nails. Finding her, being unable to apprehend Ward, watching them cart her away…Melinda bit back tears.

She thought letting Skye go would be the downfall of her day and how she wished she'd been right.

Bobbi wasn't just on her team, wasn't just another agent, she'd been one of hers; Melinda had been her S.O., it was her job to keep her safe. Instead she'd been kidnapped, tortured within an inch of her life, and…

Melinda knew all too well the pain of losing a child and knowing one of her girls was suffering was too much for her. She never wanted her to feel this pain, to have to know what it felt like to be a mother without a child.

Her heart was breaking and the pain she did her best to shove down was bubbling to the surface, where it didn't need to be. Her team needed her, she couldn't break down, not now.

Melinda heard him before she felt his hands on her shoulders and she couldn't fight it anymore. Her chest shook and Phil pulled her into his arms before the first wave of tears fell. She let him hold her while she sobbed loudly.

Phil brushed his lips across her forehead before resting his own there and palmed her cheek, close to tears himself. "It's okay, Melinda. She has us, she's better off than we were. We can be here for her."

"Our baby's gone."

It was too much. Losing their baby, Bahrain, losing Skye, now this?

Bobbi wasn't theirs but Melinda would have loved that child, the way she loved Clint's children. The way she loved all children. Bobbi deserved better.

"We'll get Skye back," he whispered, holding her closer.

Melinda sobbed. She loved him. She loved that she didn't have to fully explain the meaning to her words because he understood her so well. And she loved that she could break, that she could take a few moments to feel and that he was here to catch her and he'd pull her back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, still crying.

"She's going to want to go after him-"

"I already called Natasha and Clinton; they're on their way."

She wanted to tell him she loved him, instead she scolded him. "But Clinton-"

"Isn't due for baby number three for weeks. Did you really think I was going to let my godson be born without telling Clint I was alive?"

She knew telling him had been a bad idea.

"If he misses that birth because of Grant Ward, I will kill Ward before Bobbi can get to him," she warned.

Phil kissed her temple. "No one's killing Ward; there's a cell in Guantanamo with his name on it."

"I love the way you operate."

He caressed her cheek and met her eyes with a goofy smile. "I love you."

"Really? Now, Phillip?"

"Life is short, Melinda."

She rolled her eyes and pulled away, composing herself. "I knew there was a reason I never married you; you're an idiot," she muttered, turning off the water and moving to leave, knowing the team needed her.

Phil caught her by the arm and pulled her against his chest and this time it wasn't grief she was feeling.

"Phil-"

"You're right, I'm an idiot. But I'm getting smarter," he whispered before pressing his lips to hers.

Melinda didn't hesitate to kiss him back. She'd been waiting far too long for this idiot to realize he still loved her. Or maybe he'd always known; it didn't matter because her hands were in his hair and she was pressed into the wall and she needed this.

"I love you too," Melinda whispered when they came up for air, resting her forehead against his. He was right; life was too damn short.

And they'd lost too much to keep fighting the inevitable.

"I promise, we'll get our baby girl back. I'm not letting her go without a fight."

Melinda touched his cheek and nodded, close to tears again. She couldn't speak so she kissed him again, knowing once they left this room they had to be mom and dad again, had to be strong for everyone, and she needed another moment to herself before she put her walls back up.

"God, did you call me so I could watch you two make out? This is disgusting, Phil, you're not supposed to eat her face."

They broke apart and Melinda glared daggers at Clint, not happy to be interrupted. "Did you bring me pictures of my Godchildren, Clinton?"

He held out an envelope and she took it happily, leaving her boys to it.

Maybe everything was terrible but at least Clint's little angels were safe and he would never have to know the pain she and Bobbi now shared.

Melinda would make sure of it.


End file.
